To my mother,
Remember those days when I was a lass,
I was young, wild and free,
Boundless in energy and beyond control.
You would sigh in exasperation,
Bellowings that reach storeys high,
Sleepless nights that ensue,
Embroiled in a hodgepodge of anxiety and helplessness:
In carrying the burden of motherly responsibilities,
In being my co-benefactor,
In being my support,
In being an authoritative figure;
Whom the child that was me would look up to,
Whom the child that was me would sulk at,
Whom the child that was me would throw tantrums at,
Whom the child that was me would make beautiful cut-out cards for,
Whom the child that was me loved and cherished most above all else.
Time passed by and I quickly became a teenager,
Probably the stage in parenthood that you had found most dreadful,
Certainly the stage of growing up which I had found most repulsive.
We always seemed to be at daggers drawn with each other,
Each trying to get the upper hand in feuds,
Trying to justify why anything happened at all;
We grew apart for some time needless to say,
We begun to realize our differences,
And as much as I nodded to the generation gap theory,
You in turn did not see that as a plausible reason,
You wanted to believe that it was plain rebellion:
Of an ungrateful daughter,
Of an insolent and spiteful girl,
Through the lens of a religion you held on to so dearly.
Little did you know that I too needed a shoulder to cry on:
And that I was not an animatronic who was bulletproof,
And that I had a heart of my own,
And that I too was easily scarred;
Maybe it was both our egos,
Maybe it was pa's ignorance,
Maybe it was the financial strain,
Maybe it was the environment,
Maybe it was fate.
Though now physically miles away from you;
I still remember it all like it was just yesterday.
Every now and then my heart aches and then I break down
To a familiar bittersweet melody that plays in my mind.
I relish on the good memories that we have shared together:
The experiences that we have had together,
The life lessons that we acquired together and from each other,
The tears that we have shed together,
The affection that we displayed to each other through thoughtful deeds,
And the strength that we have mutually upheld and fortified in each other.
I long for better years and brighter days to come by,
That sees you as a happier and a more contended aging flower,
Your worries laid aside,
Your burdens uplifted,
Your pain mitigated,
Your soul afresh and renewed.
Know this that no matter what happens, I'll always love you. And maybe that's a cliched way to end this post but sometimes the simplest of words can have the most profound meaning.
Happy Mother's Day in advance, ma! 💓💓
Lots of love,