You're all that matter to me comment
13.6.17


You're all I want,
Your looks are to die for;
Your ways are cunning,
But there's nothing wrong in that.

You're perfect in all your flaws,

Flawless in your misdeeds,
Unapologetic in every turn you make,
Savage and pointless at times,
But still you're a marvel.

I long for a life with you,

To see days filled with your dear company,
To be solaced with the warmth of your love,
To be tuck into an affectionate slumber with you every night.

I hope we share a mutual love,

I don't want to be a case of unrequited love;
There's something about your mysterious aura,
That gives life to my empty soul;
Even when I feel nothing,
I feel it completely.

I have acquired a deep affection for you,

Etched to my heart, mind and soul like death clinging to a comatose,
If this feeling were to ever leave me,
It is sure to leave my heart with a scar that cannot be faded;
And I don't think I'll ever look at love the same again.

You're so special to me,

You have just came into my life,
And you've already stained a large portion of my heart just for you.
You captivate me in everything you do;
Stealing glances at you is enough to brighten up my mundane day.

I love you and hold you very dear,

And I hope you notice my wandering love and embrace it someday,
So it can bloom into something else spectacular and unimaginable,
For both you and me.

And in all honesty,

I wish to say,
That you're all that matter to me.



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YTM Talent-A scholarship selection programme comment
9.6.17

I actually attended the selection programme last Wednesday but here I am writing my experience after a week later πŸ‘€


I was surprised to get an SMS and an email notification from YTM as I was not expecting to hear from YTM after the application closed some two months back. I didn't think I would pass the application stage as I had not had much luck with YTM application the year before and almost any scholarship applications for that matter πŸ˜‚ . Four days before the selection programme was held, I received a notification stating that I had been shortlisted for the YTM Talent-A scholarship selection programme. The programme was held at TM convention center @ Pantai Bharu.

Unlike the scholarship experiences that I have read up online which stated that there was first an online IQ test conducted followed by an EQ camp for shortlisted candidates, this year's program tentative was a little different - all stages was wrapped up into a single day; stage 1 was an IQ test followed by stage 2 in which further shortlisted candidates are to sit for a digital assesment, then came stage 3 which had the remaining candidates grouped into smaller groups and given a case study to discuss. The last stage was probably the most long-awaited albeit dreaded stage- a one-to-one interview with a panel of two.

The programme was due to start at 7.30 am. Yes, 7.30 am. I figured I would hop in a uber at 6.00 am to the nearest KTM and get down at KL Sentral and then board an LRT to Kerinchi and walk up to the building. But a very, very, very good unimate of mine suggested otherwise; He would drive me all the way to the venue. How thoughtful of him. I was spared the concern of reaching the place on time.

I arrived at TM convention center an hour early. I waited at the lounge with another candidate who had arrived earlier. Not long after that, candidates arrived one after another, filling up the lounge area. At sharp 8.00 am the programme commenced with registration. We were divided into two big groups. Soon after the registration, us, candidates from group 1 were asked to proceed to level 3 to sit for an IQ test. The very first stage happened to be our biggest fear. Pass this stage and you get to proceed to the next stage, don't pass this stage and you have to pack your bags back. The IQ test comprised of three assessments, namely verbal, arithmetic and abstract reasoning. I would rate the test somewhere along the range of intermediate. I did think I performed a little poorly at the arithmetic part. So many questions to be completed within a short period of time! For that reason, I warranted myself to think I would never pass the test. I was plagued with the burden of anxiety and uncertainty.

Fast forward after some briefing and touring around the TM building, the results for the IQ test was announced. Not the test marks itself but the name of the candidates whose test scores were above average. One after another got up to their names being called and proceeded to the escalator. I waited anxiously for my name to be called. I will never forget that wait to be one of the most agonizing wait I've ever had πŸ˜‚. After what seemed like an eternity, my name was called. I too joined the rest outside and followed the facilitator to level 3 once again to sit for yet another assessment - the Digital Assessment. Relief seemed to have filled the whole atmosphere. Yes, good that I have passed the IQ test, now what's a digital assessment all about? Everyone seemed to be clueless about what the test was about. I tried googling to know what a digital assessment is while I had some free time to spare but to no avail. I decided I would try my chances with the test.

Well the test turned out to be a series of multiple choice questions, about 24 in all. The questions at a glance seemed to be about current innovations and development of technology in the IT world. I thought I had quite an advantage there as I had a background of pre-u studies in computer science. I was wrong. The questions were hard, to say the least. It centered around outrages questions like "Which hybrid car was the first in the world to be mass-produced for commercial purposes?"and "What is LTE?", among few others. I don't know for sure if this stage was actually a screening stage as I think every candidate who pulled through the IQ test was automatically enlisted to undergo all the subsequent stages.

Next came the long-awaited lunch break. The Muslims proceeded to the surau to perform their zohor prayers. A facilitator had come up to each one of us non-Muslims to ask for our choice of meal in menu - a Secret Recipe menu πŸ’•. I had picked Fish and Chips.We then followed the same faci to the Secret Recipe restaurant at a TM building right across the one we were previously in. The whole time I was just marveling at the niceness of the Malay-majority staffs who had sponsored us non-Muslims some really good food. One of the faci who was there to chaperone us even joined us at our table while we were eating. She was a Muslim who was fasting that day for the month of Ramadan.

After lunch and prayers, we were once again gathered at the lounge. After everyone was gathered, we were called individually and placed in smaller groups. Each group was then assisted by a designated faci to their respective rooms where we discussed a case study based on a topic given. My group was given the case "Sharing is Caring?" along with a paragraph about contemporary controversies under the name of "sharing". We were given 10 minutes to jot down our points and another 30 minutes to discuss. I initiated the discussion and I was shaky a little at first as I had inadvertently called for attention out of a sudden πŸ˜‚. I thought to myself that I was going to talk as much as I can during the discussion but at the same time respect the other members' opinions and give room for everyone else to talk too. The discussion went well, apart from a few diversions in between, we got back to the root of the topic with a wrap that I made just in time before time was up. The panel then instructed us to wait outside.

After that, we waited at a common area in the same floor. I was really tired at this point. It was 3.30 pm and I was feeling like a zombie already. Cliched but you get the point. I was half asleep when my name was called after waiting for about an hour. I was hoping so earnestly that I will not mess up the last stage. I tried hard to resist succumbing to sleepiness and tiredness. I faked a confident stride and entered the interview room and greeted the same panel who had assessed my group earlier. The panel first introduced themselves. That's when I realized that they were holding some really high pose in TM. The male interviewer (I've forgotten the panel's names) was a manager or so at Menara KL and the female interviewer was head of the IT department in TM. Then came my turn to introduce myself. They told me to tell them about myself and my past achievements, personal achievements and just about anything that I'm proud of. I panicked. They wanted me to keep talking and they'll just listen. gulp. "My name is Evangelista...you can call me Grace...studied...". I went about my achievements, which were admittedly no where near great. It was just some mediocre-level achievements back in school and in uni. Tons of err and umss in between. I was trying too hardπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. The interviewers were mostly deadpan and didn't say much. They asked me then where do I see myself in 5 years to which I replied something along the lines of becoming an established programmer. Unrealistic but okay, best shot I could give at that timeπŸ˜‚. They then threw me a last question which was the only question I felt proud about my answer. The question was "How would you like to contribute to society with the course that you're pursuing?". Hard question. Had I not prepared and rehearsed my response with this kind of question earlier, I don't think I would have been able to maintain a straight face. The panel seemed pleased with my response(after being deadpan for so long they finally displayed some facial expression, smh).

"That's all from us, you have anything to ask us?"

whaaattt?? that's all? I gave them a baffled look.

The interview only lasted for a brief 20 minutes. 

I asked them a few questions about the scholarship before exchanging pleasantries once again and wishing each other well. I took an LRT and then a train back to UNITEN. I reached back at hostel by dusk.


  • Thoughts 

The selection programme went by well. This was my first time attending a full scholarship selection programme (previously only interviews and/or IQ tests) and successfully making it to the final stage. I was not particularly satisfied about how I presented myself during the interview. I could have said this..could have said that instead..So many thoughts raced across my mind whilst commuting back to hostel. I doubted that I would ever get the scholarship. "It's probably gonna end up like the rest", I thought. This was my umpteenth time applying for a scholarship and probably the 7th time attending a scholarship interview, if my count is right. I convinced myself then that even if it does end up like the rest, I am sure as hell had some improvements and some lessons and experience to take back for next time.

A few days passed by and I opened my email only to receive an unforeseen joy. I have been chosen to be awarded the scholarship!

 
I shrieked in joy. It was too much happiness to contain. I jumped around like crazy and hugged my roomie, Dashy. All this at 1 in the morning πŸ˜‚.

Sorry that this post ended up being too long. But thanks for reading this far :)

I'll rant more about the scholarship on an upcoming post - YTM Scholarship award.

Until then, bye for now and be sure to check back soon ;)



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Post-foundation and Degree commencement comment
25.5.17

It's been nearly a week since the commencement of a new semester and hence, my bachelor's degree programme. Two weeks prior I had completed my foundation studies in Computer Science. Then came the long awaited sem break right after finals. I don't remember having accomplished much during the break apart from diving into the basics of JavaScript - the long-delayed language which I had enlisted as an agenda to tick off alongside learning the front-end CSS and HTML some few years back. Oh and not to mention, back to back episodes of the all new season of Shingeki No Kyojin ✌


*picture intentionally blurred
[left]Foundation ID, [right]Degree ID
Not much difference, aye?

 I had made up my mind a long time ago about taking Software Engineering simply because of the enthralling prospects that hopefully lie ahead, specifically developing apps and building websites. I am aware that while my course aims to prepare graduates for just that, much of what is in the course outline surely is going to involve a lot of things that I have never heard of and probably a considerable number of subjects and topics that I would not like learningπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Either way, like it or not, I think what every college student should know by now is that their college major plays a main role in determining their career later on down the road. And that every one of them should do themselves a favor by investing some time to carefully pick out a course to study and then get mentally prepared to undergo it within a considerable span of time.

 Viewing degree life from a rather 'pseudo' big picture seems pretty exciting and challenging to say the least. From what I have attended so far that were only introductory classes for my sem 1 subjects, I can already tell, and well perhaps anyone can tell that it's not going to be as easy as foundation. Speaking of foundation, my whole one year of foundation studies in retrospect was pleasant albeit challenging on a mediocre level. I had garnered a lot along the way, course lessons and life lessons alike. College life is very happening and hardly a day goes by where I can just laze off the day hibernating in a slumber in the comfort of my bed. That said, there was however plenty of time for rest provided I have kept in par with lessons and prep myself with early and necessary preparations and not cram on the eleventh hour instead πŸ˜‚. Been there, done that.
le official foundation transcript

Well I guess that's a wrap for now. Until next time, cheers to a prosperous degree life to all freshmen out there!

Thanks for your time and have a nice weekend ahead.



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Me and my mother comment
10.5.17

To my mother,

Remember those days when I was a lass,

I was young, wild and free,
Boundless in energy and beyond control.
You would sigh in exasperation,
Bellowings that reach storeys high,
Sleepless nights that ensue,
Embroiled in a hodgepodge of anxiety and helplessness:
In carrying the burden of motherly responsibilities,
In being my co-benefactor,
In being my support,
In being an authoritative figure;
Whom the child that was me would look up to,
Whom the child that was me would sulk at,
Whom the child that was me would throw tantrums at,
Whom the child that was me would make beautiful cut-out cards for,
Whom the child that was me loved and cherished most above all else.

Time passed by and I quickly became a teenager,
Probably the stage in parenthood that you had found most dreadful,
Certainly the stage of growing up which I had found most repulsive.
We always seemed to be at daggers drawn with each other,
Each trying to get the upper hand in feuds,
Trying to justify why anything happened at all;
We grew apart for some time needless to say,
We begun to realize our differences,
And as much as I nodded to the generation gap theory,
You in turn did not see that as a plausible reason,
You wanted to believe that it was plain rebellion:
Of an ungrateful daughter,
Of an insolent and spiteful girl,
Through the lens of a religion you held on to so dearly.
Little did you know that I too needed a shoulder to cry on:
And that I was not an animatronic who was bulletproof,
And that I had a heart of my own,
And that I too was easily scarred;
Maybe it was both our egos,
Maybe it was pa's ignorance,
Maybe it was the financial strain,
Maybe it was the environment,
Maybe it was fate.

Though now physically miles away from you;
I still remember it all like it was just yesterday.
Every now and then my heart aches and then I break down
To a familiar bittersweet melody that plays in my mind.
I relish on the good memories that we have shared together:
The experiences that we have had together,
The life lessons that we acquired together and from each other,
The tears that we have shed together,
The affection that we displayed to each other through thoughtful deeds,
And the strength that we have mutually upheld and fortified in each other.
I long for better years and brighter days to come by,
That sees you as a happier and a more contended aging flower,
Your worries laid aside,
Your burdens uplifted,
Your pain mitigated,
Your soul afresh and renewed.

Know this that no matter what happens, I'll always love you. And maybe that's a cliched way to end this post but sometimes the simplest of words can have the most profound meaning.

Happy Mother's Day in advance, ma! πŸ’“πŸ’“


Lots of love,
Evan



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