Grateful comment
18.8.17


I have met a lot of nice people in my tender 19 years and some of these people have chosen to stick by my side and care for me. And while this is also a shout-out to my own family members for being there for me through my thick and thin, especially my mother, I am as equally obliged to good and caring friends as I am with my family. It's painful yet very blatantly a plain reality to see some of our friends come and go, especially the ones whom we have grown to become fond of their company and thought we had a bond with. But some have chosen to stick by despite all there is at their predisposal to let go and live on.

When I first moved to MMU, I have to admit having felt a little down and lost. I was also mostly at a lost with some lectures that were fast-paced. It took a while for me to gather and settle and aim for one direction at a time. On my first day when I moved into hostel, almost everyone around,  the faces that I familiarised with during the scholarship selection program had their family members surrounding them. I was grateful enough for the lift dad offered me in order to transport my stuffs from home to hostel. But my dad couldn't climb stairs so I had to carry everything up on my own. It was very tiresome to say the least but that was not it. I was saddened in the inside about not having my family around. It's not their fault. They're all at different ends and making ends meet on their own. But as impossible as it sounds, deep inside I yearn every day to be surrounded by my own family again.

About a week passes by and then I get a few messages and calls from a few friends who ask me how things are at this new place I was slowly getting accustomed to. They also ask to meet up sometime soon. Then there's an ex-collegemate who would care to take me to explore places nearby and help me get my groceries (and not to mention some delectable chocolates during exam week!). These friends, I didn't think I mattered much to them. I didn't think they would remember me or the fact that I was now at a different place. But they proved me wrong. They showed me that caringness exists beyond my own immediate family circle.

Then comes my birthday. Another friend drives all the way from Kuala Kubu to pick me from MMU and then my twin sister from her school in Seremban. I could not celebrate my birthday this year with my family and none of us got to celebrate our mum's birthday too which happened a week before me and my twin sister's. This good friend of ours came all the way from his place to celebrate our mum's birthday back at our home since none of us was around. For our birthday, he does the same thing except he drives a longer journey and uses his saved earnings from Tae Kwan Do classes he conducts to get us a mid-range fancy lunch and a birthday cake. I was really moved by my friend's gesture of kindness.

I can go on and on about all the good people in my close sphere have done for me but there's only so much that I can put down in words.

Thank you for everything good-willed peeps :) . Can't imagine a life without great peoples like you. You make life more pleasant to live.


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Mechanical pencils comment
23.7.17

I was refilling my mechanical pencil nib when my mind took me on a brief detour through one of my most profound childhood memories. Mechanical pencils, or better known as pensel tekan in the local slang, have had a special connection with me for a very long time. Ever since I was a young lass in elementary school, I had this special piece of stationery tagging along with me wherever I would go. It isn't the most special piece of belonging to me now that I'm in college, but back when I was in elementary, it was the most precious thing I would hold on to. I can still vividly remember the self-contained fad I had with mechanical pencils. It was an insatiable obsession. You can say I was a craycray kid back then and I wouldn't mind because I knew just how irrational I would get at some point.

Back in those days, mechanical pencils were like a measure of how rich you were in class. I am not sure though if this was just me, as I was admittedly one hell of a mechanical pencil freak. But I do recall a few classmates deliberately flaunting their new mechanical pencils every time they got a new, fancy one. I remember having a keen eye for the "rich" mechanical pencils. The ones with the Pilot Shaker always grabbed my attention. Especially the 0.7.

All hail the mighty Pilot the Shaker

I was not one of those rich kids though. So I would save up whatever balance money I have left from my daily RM2 pocket money and coupled with an ungodly act of flicking some of my mother's coin savings in her woven "piggy bank", I would buy a new pensel tekan almost every twice a month. I'm sorry mum if you're reading this 😅. Those 50-cent coins that often ran dry in stock was because of me.

I remember being the subject of envy among my sisters whenever they saw my growing pensel tekan collection. They would give me the suspicious look, but then I would come up with some "convincing" stories about how I had ikat perut and not eaten a few times just to save enough for mechanical pencil. They would leave me alone after a while. I guess they chose to give me the benefit of the doubt as they didn't want to get me all fierce and defensive, the typical kid that I was back then😂.

So now with my collection of mechanical pencils growing with each new, better, fancier ones coming it at a fast rate, I didn't know where to store the older, less nice ones that didn't serve me any purpose anymore. You guessed it, I traded it. My sisters were obviously my first victims. I convinced them into trading their more cooler stuffs with my less-worthy mechanical pencils- which lasted only so long until it's fateful demise. They would come back trying to harass me into returning their goods but I would fight them off to their holes because "a deal is a deal", I would tell them.

I remember at age 10 when I was in Year 4, we were shifted to our neighbour secondary school due to overcrowding in our primary school. I would find mechanical pencils under the desks. I was that I-see-it-I-take-it kind of kid. "Finder's keepers", I thought. On top of this, I tried to convince myself that these older kids in secondary were "rich" enough to afford a new Pilot mechanical pencil when they could afford to own one in the first place. I went so berserk, obsessive and compulsive to the point of stealing two of my Moral class classmates' mechanical pencils. Needless to say, I was overcome by a lot of guilt in the aftermath. My uncle used to say, "once is a mistake, twice is still forgivable but thrice is a habit". I was sure to not make it to the third time.

my loyal Pilot 0.7

On a side note, I wish I could have convinced my younger self that I would one day be able to afford the 0.7 Pilot mechanical pencil of my dreams, a dozen of them. I was pathetically desperate, in retrospect.




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Life in MMU at a glance comment
15.7.17

So it's been nearly 3 weeks now since I enrolled and started campus life in Multimedia University. I have observed a lot of difference in terms of the environment and people here as compared to my student life back in UNITEN. Yeah, I mean sure, it took me near three weeks to finally sit down and rant about my new chapter.


Just a bit of a back story..

 My dad and I were kinda lost on our way to MMU Cyberjaya from Rawang, where my dad had picked me up from home. All along I was apprehensive and excited at the same time. Woah great, a new chapter, a new beginning for me. Well, it was somewhat a new start, although I had already been pursuing my B.CS in UNITEN for about two weeks before I got a scholarship offer to study in MMU. I thought maybe, just maybe I could start over, be a more studious jane and what not; just about all the kind of aspiration one would have when going to a new place. I thought maybe this is my chance to ditch what ever old habits I had before, like hanging out till late night, socializing with the wrong kind of people, being unorganized and lazy, etc. So I found my mind pondering on all of these. The next three years of my life is going to be spent here. What comes after that depends on how well I live up to opportunities and how well I make use of the resources around me, and basically how well I manage my life during my undergrad.

***

  • Living cost
 After a series of monologs and hefty ponderings, I tapped back into reality as my dad stopped by at a grocery store for me to buy my necessities for the next whole month in a place where I am not even the slightest bit familiarized with yet. I stocked up a bit more than usual as I was not sure when I could do my next grocery and provision shopping. In retrospect, I think I have to take credit for myself for being a little wise back then. It's almost mid-July and my allowance is still not in. Not to mention the cost of living here is way too high. I'm not sure about other people but during my time back in UNITEN, I found myself being able to survive with at least 15-20 bucks per week on outside food. Whereas here in MMU, I can hardly go by three days with a meager 20 bucks. That and with the cost of forced printing of lecture notes. I say forced because well we are 1)compelled by lecturers to print notes. Most friends and fellow classmates I know of do prefer printing out lecture notes for reference. But as for me 2) I personally prefer referring to e-versions of these notes as 3) I hate doing the paperwork, filing and all that. Also, 4) I find it a lot easier carrying my notes as PDF's in my a more pocket-friendly phone.


  • Demographics
An interesting thing most prospective students like to know is the demographics of the small population belonging to an institution. I didn't really think it was a big deal until I started studies here. It's only been three weeks, and thus I am not sure if my reckoning is right but based on rough observation, I would say that the university has a predominant number of Chinese students. My two roommates are also Chinese and the thing about most Chinese students is, they're bloody hell hard-working although to a certain extent they do prove to be effortless- take for example the well-known stereotype that Chinese are good at math and their plain sharp-wit. I can sure as hell affirm that, from what I see in my own roommates daily. Stereotypes don't exist for nothing. Needless to say, I am to a great extent influenced by these smarty-pants in my dorm. Apart from that, there's also a sizeable community of foreign students over here at MMU. The Malay students' population come in at a figure roughly about the size as in UNITEN. Not many Indian students have been spotted around.


  • Study environment
 The environment here is pretty decent and nice, although the size of the campus is a lot smaller compared to UNITEN's. I mean a smaller campus does not imply that it's any less nice or lacking in facilities compared to a bigger one although I have yet to check out the available facilities around MMU. In fact, convenience is of the essence. Unlike my time back in UNITEN where I would have to wake up early to get the bus on time to class at another end and not to mention how much I would have to consider to get back to the hostel in between during long break periods, classes are conveniently of a walking distance from my hostel dorm here at MMU. During break time, I can walk back to hostel to quickly catch a power nap or take a refreshing shower before the next class. There's also a digital library, the Siti Hasmah Digital Library. Registered students and staffs are able to access FYP's, digital databases, thesis and much more including viewing status of borrowed books/ book loans in the library's digital repository and convenient online system. Heck, us freshies were even required to attend a briefing session with the library and we were assessed at the end of it. There's also a 24-hour study/collaborating area making for just the right study ambiance for night owls and all-nighters. 

***

Thoughts...

I don't think I have fully explored all there is to MMU Cyberjaya yet to come to a conclusion about the university. But from experience, I can say that I was in for a very quick and serious jumpstart into my lecture lessons, not the usual thing I was accustomed to back in UNITEN. I was pretty laid back prior, to say the least. Judging from how life started rolling in with momentum from the very first week of my tender dwelling here, I don't think I can be that happy-go-lucky kind of lass that I was before, I doubt.🙇😂


Occasionally I do reminisce about all the memories I garnered from my time in UNITEN. All those late night talks, juicy secrets and crazy stuffs with my best buddy, Darshiniy. And well there's just so much more that I could go about but time be merciful to me. So much happened in just a year. I don't think I can ever forget UNITEN. And my friends. And my lecturers. And the infamous UNITEN lake where I was most often spotted at 😂.

My official MMU mugshot



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You're all that matter to me comment
13.6.17


You're all I want,
Your looks are to die for;
Your ways are cunning,
But there's nothing wrong in that.

You're perfect in all your flaws,

Flawless in your misdeeds,
Unapologetic in every turn you make,
Savage and pointless at times,
But still you're a marvel.

I long for a life with you,

To see days filled with your dear company,
To be solaced with the warmth of your love,
To be tuck into an affectionate slumber with you every night.

I hope we share a mutual love,

I don't want to be a case of unrequited love;
There's something about your mysterious aura,
That gives life to my empty soul;
Even when I feel nothing,
I feel it completely.

I have acquired a deep affection for you,

Etched to my heart, mind and soul like death clinging to a comatose,
If this feeling were to ever leave me,
It is sure to leave my heart with a scar that cannot be faded;
And I don't think I'll ever look at love the same again.

You're so special to me,

You have just came into my life,
And you've already stained a large portion of my heart just for you.
You captivate me in everything you do;
Stealing glances at you is enough to brighten up my mundane day.

I love you and hold you very dear,

And I hope you notice my wandering love and embrace it someday,
So it can bloom into something else spectacular and unimaginable,
For both you and me.

And in all honesty,

I wish to say,
That you're all that matter to me.


Edit: figure in the poem is completely fictitious 



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