Calvacades

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Papa
18 Jun 2018 | Comment


I can't recall many memories with you

But the ones that I can

Were recent memories with you

I have never got to know you

All these years

Only stories of a fictional being

Maybe what they said was true

Maybe you had a reason why

But not many payed heed to your story

I thank God for giving me a way

For me to see you, to talk to you

For us to be father and daughter again

I remember so vividly

The last hug that we shared

Before you were admitted

And machines became your new companion

I remember how sick you were

Bouts of cough, spits of phlegm

You could hardly walk

But you were still determined to bring me

To savor on a favorite dish

I remember how lonely you looked on the bed

Day after day you're worsening

It saddened me deeply to see you this way

If only you had listened to ma's advice

And took care of yourself

You were a vagabond

Wondering what life is about

What faith to pick

Befriending snakes along the way

Wandering for love and attention

When there was plenty waiting for you

Back at home

I wish I could go back in time

To tell you how much we love you

And want you back

Know that I will always remember you

And I will strive to make you proud

Happy Father's Day papa














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Love-hate relationship
22 May 2018 | Comment


Sometimes I want to hug everyone I pass by and say how special and loved they are,

Sometimes I want to tune-out from the world and plug my ears to heavy metal;

Sometimes I want to write positive notes to people to brighten up their day,

Sometimes I want to get tucked in bed and lament all my misery;

Sometimes I want to give a rose to passerby's just to see them smile,

Sometimes I want to cry myself to sleep from afflicted wounds;

Sometimes I want to motivate someone and tell them that they are destined for their goals,

Sometimes I want to feign a smile to fake a concerned face to someone else's boring problems.


When I love, I love deeply and hard. When I don't all that is left is a void space that you don't deserve.  

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Penny wise, or so, for the lack of a better title
17 May 2018 | Comment


Constrained to a limited student budget every month, it's important for students alike me to be penny wise. I have always been a big spender. Back in my pre-u days, clothes had been my main spending factor. When I entered degree, clothes were no longer my attraction in malls or online shops. Instead, food. How can anyone compensate on food for anything else? Especially when you're stuck in a campus surrounded with more finger-licking food outlets outside of the vicinity. One might think it's no big deal spending on a good meal every once in a while. Well again it's food, no one, not you nor me should cry over how much we spend on food. But we'll get to that in a bit. So apart from food, I had been spending on books and more recently, on art supplies. I don't want to get to the small details about why I had been splashing my money on these things just so I can justify my plain spendthrift self. Here's the thing lads and lasses; your bank account does not give a flying f__k about whether or not you have enough to feed your primitive stomach or your wild ideas about getting all artsy and productive out of the sudden.

So at the beginning of the month you can easily find yourself as this:

I'mma protect my money from all ze temptations

And then not very far down the road you realize you actually didn't know what you thought you knew:


Been there, done that.

Here's the real piece though; whenever you have an amount of cash with you, always make a mental note on it's breakdown - to the 10's, 5's and all the way down to the 1's. Imagine just how much value each of these smaller breakdowns could hold - feed your raging belly for maybe a week, take you the nearby mall to save you from hostel boredom, feed a needy cat, buy a gift for your mum, and all that is more humbler and pleasant. If you have a surplus, then go ahead and create a separate savings-only account. Save it in the safe for emergency, for a future date, for some fun after the semester ends.

For someone like me who had tried but failed so many times, I can say that this way had proven to have had some effect on me. Not even an extra savings account or an expenses tracker could do the trick.

That's all from me for now folks. Remember, break it down. Rule of the thumb 👍🏻

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about

Hi, I'm Grace and I maintain this blog with my occasional musings. Apart from writing, I like being occupied with anything artsy, I enjoy the company of books and I like unleashing my inner nerd through occasional coding. My ideal day would be holding a book in one hand, matcha in the other, ears plugged and a cat purring on my lap.

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